The People Who Choose To Love Me

The People Who Choose To Love Me
This is my family. Watermark and all.

Monday, September 21, 2015

I Will Just Have To Train My Body To Never Fail Again

Last week was rough. I was down for the count and supposed to be resting for one whole week. I don't know how other people can do this rest thing without going crazy. My mother in law and my brother in law came to stay with us and help out with everything around the house and I was supposed to just sit there and watch while they, and my husband, took over and filled my shoes as the live in maids and chefs.

Basically, I spent a week in a codeine induced fog drinking beer and eating food I didn't have to prepare while I waited for my body to get it's act together so I could drive and work and get out of my house. I know it doesn't sound bad on paper, but believe me, it isn't as fun as you'd think after about four days. Even though I was unable to do much, I still accomplished a ton this week. I'm bringing back the old List Of Productivity, guys. Here it goes...

LIST OF THINGS I WANTED TO ACCOMPLISH AFTER MY UTERUS PULLED A FAST ONE:

  • Play outside with the kids on my week long hiatus from work/responsibility 

  • Keep up on all of the laundry after my mother in law left (SHE DID ALL THE LAUNDRY... I am convinced she is a robot)

  • Find a pressure cooker and swap recipes with my brother in law until we both die of diabetes

  • Clean my room

  • Build a patio furniture set out of cinder blocks and studs

  • Sew pillows for back patio set

  • Finish getting the adhesive off of the floor where I decided to rip out all of our carpet a couple days before my surgery

  • Find or make a decorative rug for the tile floor that I didn't realize had been carpeted over FOR A REASON

  • Buy or make thank you notes to everyone who helped us out at the drop of a hat when I went in for surgery

  • Watch Parks And Recreation from the top again because that show is probably best friends for life with codeine

Now for the big finale...


THINGS I ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISHED POST OP:

  • Watched every episode of Planet Earth (Don't get me wrong, this wasn't a waste of time. I saw the largest penis on earth during a whale episode. Those lady whales don't have a pectoral fin to stand on if they try complaining at their krill tasting parties about being satisfied by their man)

  • I finished a puzzle in bed

  • I ate all of the leftovers

  • Got drunk with the neighbor

  • Played hide and seek with the baby around the tree in the front yard 

  • Checked off "Play Outside With Kids" in an exaggerated fashion from my imaginary list of things to do

  • Delegated (a lot)

  • Supervised (even more)

  • Took more codeine and demoted myself as mom in a formal ceremony in a nap dream

  • Picked up six cups off the floor that were starting to form a Wiccan Ouroboros around my bed

  • Checked off "Clean Room" in another exaggerated movement while no one was watching me

  • Found construction paper and glitter to make thank you cards

  • Found some old string and a crochet hook while finding thank you note making supplies and tried my hand at crocheting tiny Christmas tree ornaments because there are only 94 days left until Xmas!!!

  • Wrote this blog entry

I officially have one day left until I can get out of the house and go back to work and I'd like to say that I'm not going to take any codeine today and accomplish at least half of the things on my invisible-until-now list, but let's be honest, there's at least two desert episodes and one jungle documentary in the Planet Earth collection that are calling my name and the only strength I feel in my wobbly bones is going to be conserved for those thank you notes because I seriously have the best family and friends a codeine addict girl can ask for.


This puzzle might not look like it's difficult, but believe me, when you're seeing double and itching uncontrollably from the pain meds, this shit is almost impossible to finish.




2 comments:

  1. It sounds like you really got an incredible amount accomplished during post op. And I bet the deep ocean episode of Planet Earth was pretty awesome to watch on pain meds.

    Just make sure you're completely sobered up when you try to cook with a pressure cooker.

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    Replies
    1. It was awesome!! Back to reality now. Darn it!

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