The People Who Choose To Love Me

The People Who Choose To Love Me
This is my family. Watermark and all.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

MmmmMmMM BbbBbrrRaAaaiiiNnnsSss... And Other Pinteresty Things

I love Pinterest. I also hate Pinterest. I mostly hate Pinterest.

Every time I decide to take a peek at things on this wondrous and seemingly endless website, full to the brim with bright ideas and picturesque baked goods, I think, "I could make that noooo problem!!!" Wrong. I will equate my cake baking abilities to someone who looks at an all you can eat buffet and thinks, "I can eat all of this!!" Wrong. You'll eat nine pieces of bacon, fourteen stuffed mushrooms, a two cup serving of mac and cheese, and you'll be full. My eyes are bigger than my stomach when it comes to Pinterest.

Awhile back I decided I was going to make a candy forest cake. I'm not sure where I even got the idea from, but it was probably that seductive little bitch Pinterest who put the idea in my head. The cake I had envisioned was supposed to be like a beautiful candy forest, full of fun twisty paths and intrigue. The cakes below are not exactly what I had in my head, but they are still better than what the end result was.

 Super cute!! Totally doable!!

Wow!! Love it!! This is what my cake will look like EXACTLY!!

Damn it.

Yup. That last one was mine. Behold it's jumbled glory!! I would post pictures of my other Pinterest fails, but I can't now because once you throw a cake at a wall out of sheer unadulterated white hot hate and defeat, snapping a pic for all of posterity is the last thing on your mind. The first thing on your mind should be anger management counseling. 

Now, this year for Halloween I decided to throw a party. A real party with balloons, and cake and dancing and a ton of kids. And, of course, all of my friends on Facebook are super awesome crafty people who post pictures of their amazing wares, and I thought to myself, "Psssh... I can totally make a Halloween cake!!!" Someone shared a Pinterest picture of the Brain Cake and I knew it had to be mine. Oh yes, it would be mine. 

This was the picture I saw. 

This was my final product. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself, considering the last cake looked like someone vomited lollipops all over a dead cat.

My husband only had to calm me down twice throughout the process and stop me from crying on the red velvet interior so everyone could actually enjoy eating it and not have to worry about my usual, personal secret saline and simple syrup recipe when things don't turn out the way I think they might. 

So, yay for me!! But, I have to share one friend's masterpiece baking adventures really quick before I go because I think they are more share worthy than a fondant brain. Amber Morgenstein from California made these with her bare hands!!! They are beautiful and as soon as I win the lottery I will force her to be my baking slave so I can eat cake in the shape of whatever I'm feeling like for the day. I still want that armadillo from Steel Magnolious some day...

 Cupcakes made with broken (candy) glass!!! 

 Broken glass cupcake tower!!

 I can't stop marveling at her broken glass candy... I might have a problem. And diabetes.

And, finally, this simple and beautiful Halloween cake!!! She is amazing and if any of you millionaires out there try to steal her as your own personal baker, this...means... WAR.

Hope everyone out there had an amazing Halloween and got to steal tons of their kids' candy!!! I know I jacked about seven Reeses Peanut Butter Pumpkins last night. 

OoooOoOooOohhHhhhhH... Scaaary...


  1. Yours gets points for realism. Seriously, most brains don't hold together that well once they're removed from the skull which is why the monkey brains in that Indiana Jones movie have to be chilled, and also why in Hannibal Hannibal Lecter dips pieces of Krendler's brain in ice water before cooking them.
    The more you know, kids!

    1. Hmmm, well if I am ever cooking brains for whatever reason, you'll be the first guy I go to for a recipe! Or I'll just scramble them in with some chorizo and eggs! :D