Every morning for a month I have had a cold shower. I'm not sure if I should punch the hot water heater itself, or the pilot light in the face, but something is getting punched today. Hard. I do not condone violence. I have succumbed to violence in the past and it is no good. It will ruin your life unless you change your ways, but just this one last time, let's all band together and murder my hot water heater real quick. And then, we can all hold hands, sing Kumbaya, and eat juniper berries under the light of a full moon.
Also, my poor husband, who is normally the pilot light lighter, is at work and has to deal with my incessant phone calls, needing him to walk me through every damn step of how to relight this stupid thing, and I'm sure the poor guy needs a break. Murder the hot water heater for my poor husband. Really, when you think about it, it's for charity. My husband doesn't like when I get frustrated about things like hot water heaters, modems, or cables that go to god knows where. It's just not fair to him. I am not a very mechanically/technically/technologically/life skills inclined person, and he has to suffer from the wrath that follows the pilot light deciding to blow itself out every day.
Also, the shower is the only place to escape the fighting children in the morning. I DON'T CARE WHO EATS THE LAST OF THE LUCKY CHARMS. GO. TO. SCHOOL. ALREADY. So, on top of the constant fighting and bickering, I get a cold shower. It's like fighting with four deaf-mutes (because what incentive do the kids have to listen to me other than constant candy bribes and everything else their little hearts desire???) WHILE taking a butt-ass cold shower.
So, unless you are a sadist, you will hammer this piece of crap to the ground with me. Who's on board???