I just realized that should probably read Fair Game, not Free Game. Oh well.
So, the other night when we were over at the FIL's house to watch a ball game, I was in a particularly mischievous mood and when he pulled out the old atlas to look something up, I snapped a picture.
My father-in-law is the one in front sitting in the orthopedic lawn chair and my dad is the one in the back waiting for the search results for whatever city we were looking for to come to an end. My dad is with the times. He has a smart phone.
Anyway, my husband nudged me and looked at me funny, so I was like, "WHAT?" And he said, "You shouldn't be doing that. It's exploiting the elderly. You can't use him on your blog if he doesn't know about it." And I said, "He doesn't have internet, he'll never know." I should have knocked on wood, or bitten my tongue at this point. If you've never heard the expression, "Knock on wood, or bite your tongue," I am guessing it means don't jinx yourself like an idiot by saying what you don't want to happen out loud.
I didn't bite my tongue, and I didn't knock on wood so, my bad. A little later on I decided to rip out one of my father-in-law's to-do lists again when he got up to pour himself a drink, and I guess I wasn't very sneaky because the folded up list fell out of my hoodie pocket onto the floor and he picked it up and asked us all, "What the hell?? Who's ripping out my to-do list??!" Oopsie...
I guess it was more of a shopping list than a to-do list, but whatever. Still hilarious.
And, MMMMM... sloppy joes!!
So, my husband nudged me again, and I fessed up. I told my FIL that sometimes he is a jerk and I don't want to punch him so I steal his lists. I saw the light bulb go off in his head and his eyes widened as he said, "SO THAT'S WHERE ALL MY FUCKING LISTS HAVE GONE TO!!"
Yes, I am the evil daughter-in-law who has been driving this man mad for four months by stealing his thoughts. That's the power I had before I was busted. I stole someone's thoughts. I felt invincible before he busted me. It was a feeling of possessing a black magic of sorts, the ability to stop chores from being done in their tracks, and when I'd steal his shopping lists he would have to resort to eating out!! MUUUWWWAAAHAHAHAHA... SHOWED HIM!!!
Ok, so it wasn't all that dramatic, and he took it all in good humor and he even gave me permission to write about him. At least, when he said, "I don't give a shit what you write about on your computer," that's how I took it. So, here's proof that permission was granted to exploit the elderly. Now, I just have to work on convincing my dad to write about stuff he does as he steadily rises to the age of senility. I have to get it in writing before he loses it totally though, or it will be a Harper Lee situation all over again.
BOYCOTT GO SET A WATCHMAN!!
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