The People Who Choose To Love Me

The People Who Choose To Love Me
This is my family. Watermark and all.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Every Life Lesson I Have Learned, I've Learned From Keanu Reeves

Since I have one more week until I actually begin working a real job, I decided today was the day I would sit down with my 13 year old daughter and watch Silence Of The Lambs. It just felt like it's time she knows what happens to her if she ever decides to lend a stranger a helping hand lifting his awkward Lazy Boy chair into the back of his van.

After about a half an hour, I realized this wasn't a great idea. But, we kept watching. And then she saw a lady with no back skin.

All of this, for whatever reason, made me think of one of my favorite movies from childhood (even though at the time I had no idea what any of the jokes meant), Parenthood. And then, I thought about Keanu Reeves and his famous line...

"You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."
And, even as I am typing this, questioning my parenting abilities, she is staring at the tv in utter shock and dismay. 
Nope. I have decided. I refuse to feel like this is bad parenting. It is Kidnapping Prevention Mommy Daughter Bonding Day. We should make it an annual tradition and next year I will buy her a little gift basket with lotion in it and lower it down from the roof to her just before we watch it again.

I saw road head and dildos in that movie before I knew that a "pee-pee" is called a vagina.

THAT'S bad parenting.


  1. If it makes you feel any better, I let my 7 yo son watch the movie "Airplane" with me this past weekend. I saw it when I was a kid and it's rated PG, so I thought, what the heck! It's a classic. I forgot that there is a moment when bare boobs flash on the screen. He LOVED it and wanted to replay it over and over again on the DVR (I didn't let him). I forgot that there's a scene where Elaine gives the autopilot a BJ. My son was like, "What's she doing?" Uh, just inflating the plastic doll honey. He didn't understand any of the black jive talking either and it was too hard to try to explain. So it's a toss up as to which one of us is getting a Mother of the Year nomination this year.

  2. I'm pretty sure since Pabst Blue Ribbon is on sale this weekend for $8.99 a twelve pack, it'll be you. CONGRATS, FRIEND!!

    1. I'll be sure to mention you in my acceptance speech. :)

      BTW, just noticed you listed my blog on your sidebar. Thank you new friend! I'm greatly touched.

    2. No problem! You're hilarious. :)